Are you the mindful leader or an alpha-wannabe?

Mindful Leader: Your dog offers a lot of eye contact. The emphasis is on offered. Especially in conflict situations she should look at you, wanting reassurance or a cue as to what she is suppose to do. With her eyes she is asking you for help. Or she tells you that she is attentive, or asks you to work and interact with her, or for you to share a piece of that chicken you are eating.

(Alpha-wannabe: your dog looks away and ignores you, especially in conflict situations, or watches you fearfully with a lowered body, folded back ears and tail between his legs, or challenges you with hard-eye stares.)

You can train eye contact. The "watch me" command is often taught in a training class. Prompted attention is okay in the beginning, but eventually your dog should offer to stay connected voluntarily, not be cued with a command every time there is conflict or you want her attention. Or worse, is lured with a treat to look at you. The same rule applies regarding the popular little poke to get the dog's attention, or as I read recently recommended by a positive trainer, the subtle vibration of an electric collar.

The fact is, that as long as you have to cue, prompt, bribe, or remind your dog to connect, the relationship is NOT as it should be. The connection is not voluntary and therefore not reliable.

The rare dog CAN be connected without eye contact. There are dogs that signal with a subtle twitch of an ear or an ever so slight shift of their body, that they are "with you". It is the involved dog parent who can tell if the pooch is attentive. Most dogs though, once they feel safe offering eye contact and know that it elicits a response from you, "speak" with their eyes.

(Alpha-wannabe: your dog moves away from you, is at the end of the leash pulling or lunging, or runs away when off-leash.)



Leader: the off-leash behavior is the same as the on-leash behavior. That means that the responses are the same - the leash is used because the bylaw says so, not because you need one.

(Alpha-wannabe: your dog doesn't respond once off-leash. Or he is less dog aggressive off-leash than on-leash. That means that he trusts himself more than he trusts you.)



Mindful Leader: your dog connects to you instantly when you utter a request - in a normal intonation. No regimental tone of voice is needed - and definitely no yelling. But keep in mind that sometimes that stinking old gopher hole or roadkill is more important than you are. Share the fun - join your dog and praise her on her find. She will share the dead animal with you again in future. This is much preferred to her running off to eat the half-decayed stuff. In other words, a mindful leader gets immediate response, but also makes reasonable requests. If my dog is hot and thirsty while we are out hiking, I don't recall her 10 feet away from a fresh stream - and I won't ask her for a long sit-stay if she is tired, but request a long down-stay instead.

(Alpha-wannabe: your dog is blowing you off, tuning you out, or only responds when you bribe her with a treat. Or she might respond, but does so with a lot of appeasing signals, such as lip licking, crouching, curving=coming slowly and not in a straight line.)



Mindful Leader – your dog is not afraid to offer new behaviors, or to put a spin on known ones. What sounds like disobedience is a real plus, because a dog that’s secure is less reactive, and many behaviors she comes up with you might like and can reinforce. (If you don’t like a behavior, simply ignore it and it’ll become extinct.) Instant cute tricks and goofy actions happen that way. And, very importantly, you gain insight how the dog feels if he’s allowed to offer behaviors.

Sometimes, a dog does know more than the owner. If allowed to be intelligently disobedient, you get real protection. Baywolf, my Newf, refused to follow me whenever a pack of coyotes took residence in our favorite park. Not afraid to disobey he blocked the way, and probably saved me and Davie from coyote-trouble a few times.

One the flipside, alpha wannabes who train with punitive methods frequently get unreliable behaviors. Even trained K-9 dogs are reported to lead police on a false trail to avoid punishment.

Dogs that obey in a mindless and robotic way in fear of punishment do so at the expense of true companionship. Breaking anything, including will and spirit, leaves it broken.



A mindful leader not an alpha wannabe, is easier, more rewarding and effective.