Things that earn you leadership points - in your dog's mind

Leadership has to be to the satisfaction of your dog. How you see yourself is irrelevant to the dog. Here are ten things that subtly communicate to your pooch that you are in charge.

Stay calm when your dog is aroused, fearful or stressed. The more reactive your dog is, the more grounded you ought to be. It’s up to you to create the balance. If you react to your dog’s unwanted behavior in any other way but calm control, you deal with your dog at his level. No Leadership there. Your goal is to guide your dog to your level; to help him remain in his self-controlled thinking brain.


Share your food and sleeping space. Leadership is to provide inclusion and social belonging.

Hang your nose in a bush; be interest in what is important to your dog. Taking interest in your dog’s world communicates togetherness. A dog who feels understood, trusts.

Take your dog on vacation with you, and not to a boarding kennel. Vacation is important to you – you are important to your dog. Leaders don’t abandon subordinates. Some dogs are fine in a kennel, and as it is the case with all things, some are better than others. But if your dog already has abandonment issues, maybe she was tossed around before you got her, don't leave her at a kennel. If you absolutely can't change your plans, at least find an arrangement less stressful, for example a dog sitter or family member who takes care of her in the home. Traveling with pets has come a long way in recent years. Many hotels and motels accommodate dogs. We even found a first class B & B once that didn't advertise to be pet friendly, but accommodated us when we asked.


Take your dog’s side, even if he makes a mistake. Don’t punish or reprimand your dog to look good in front of strangers. Your dog belongs to your social group – the stranger doesn’t. That doesn't mean you allow your dog to misbehave. It means that if you have a behavioral problem, learn about leadership and deal with it the mindful way.


Learn your dog's communication signals, his language. Make an effort to find out who your dog is – as a species and individual. Understand his subtle communication signal, so that you can respond accurately when he “speaks” to you. A dog who gets a response when he communicates subtly doesn’t have to take it to the next level.

Protect your dog against bullying dogs, teasing children and adults, including heavy-handed trainers. If something doesn’t feel right to you, it feels even worse to your dog. Trust your gut feeling, be a leader and keep your dog safe.


Be attentive to your dog, even if you walk with a friend. If your dog needs or wants you, interrupt your conversation and attend to your dog. Don’t walk your dog – but walk with your dog.

Make time for your dog, even if it rains or you are tired.

Be consistent, even if you had a bad day at work. Your dog doesn’t understand why you are tense and becomes confused and fearful if you are short-fused with her. For your dog, be a rock.