Social aspects that differentiates a gentle leader from others.

Apply The Art of Mindful Leadership and become a trusted, undisputed, effective and gentle leader.

Control through punishments and corrections, and control through rewards, only work as long as the follower is under surveillance. That is not true leadership. True leadership changes minds, which means that the dog behaves in a desired way even when not under leash control, corrected, threatened, bribed, reminded, prompted or commanded.

Seeing the dog socially as a family member is part of Mindful Leadership.

If you change how you think about dogs, you automatically change your actions and responses. You'll lead gently and your dog will change his/her behavior – guaranteed.


True Leadership is achieved when the one in charge is gentle and mindful of the follower’s needs. A most profound need for a dog is social belonging.

Social identity is a term coined by Henri Tajfel and his student John Turner and refers to the part of ones self that is defined by a group. Like other psychology and social behavior laws, Social Identity applies to all social species, not just humans. The self, defined by a group, identifies and acts as a group member. That is necessary to make group behavior possible and enables coordinated group activities, such as wolves hunting or a team playing football.

Human leaders are most effective if they make the groups interests one of their own – therefore making it a priority. That is, of course, easier when a group naturally shares the same interests, and more difficult in a mixed species group, such as humans and dogs. Human and dogs’ interests inherently differ.

To overcome that, it is profoundly important that you, the gentle leader, establishes some common ground and finds at least one activity you are both excited about and can engage in. It is called quality time and forms the true bond between dog and owner. And because you are the leader, you initiate that activity; make it available for your dog. That is resource control at its best.

Resource control through access control is part of Mindful Leadership. A resource is anything your dog wants at the moment, including space. Control the resources, not by taking things away, but by making access contingent on behavior, and you control your dog. That simple.

Psychologically, the giver has the power, not the receiver. Sharing a resource with a lower ranking member is a sign of high status. That includes the food you eat. A bully takes things away forcefully; a high ranking leader has control of it in the first place, and doesn’t take it away once he has given ownership.

Begging Allowed and Will and the Cow Hoof are two posts relevant to resources. Check them out at Seattle PI Blog


Caring protection is the other aspect of acting like a gentle leader. A leader makes the social group's safety his or her priority.

Be aware of your dog’s needs and supply them. Know what she fears and familiarize her gently, and simultaneously teach her coping skills. That could mean to not let children pet the puppy, or other dogs socialize until confidence and security is established.

Learn to comprehend her “language”, her subtle and overt communication; listen to what she has to “say”.

Include him into your social group and activities. Stay engaged and interested in him. Teach by creating opportunities for Free Learning - identify interests and make them available, and familiarize by gentle exposure and the opportunity to observe.

Encourage and praise her for looking at you. Prolonged and offered eye contact is a sign of belonging. Watch for that kind of attention. Offered eye contact is true connection and is different from the prompted and shaped “watch-me” command.

If your dog looks at you often and prolonged, chances are he perceives you as a gentle leader. Here are more signs.


Members of a social group orient, synchronize their activities to each other. As a leader I want my dogs to synchronize their activities and behaviors to mine and other gentle family members, including well-behaved dogs. Prerequisite for a dog to be able to synchronize his behavior with ours is that he has to feel as an accepted member of our social group. To feel included he should be: close by when we eat; close by when we sleep; close by when we relax or watch TV; included in many family activities and outings.

If we segregate the dog away from the social group, we shouldn’t be surprised if she runs her own show.

The less a dog is part of group experiences, the less he will respond, especially in conflict situations.

Mindful Leadership is involvement, an interest in your dog, whenever you interact with her. If you initiate disengagement, your dog will blow you off.